Flower Power

#lovesummerhateeverythingelse: a series.

What’s in My Bag: Lifeguarding Edition

This summer, Liesel and I spent all of our days lifeguarding. All of them.

One day, on an exceedingly rainy day, in a long string of rainy days, Madeline and I took on the personas of youtubers and decided to do a “What’s in My bag?” lifeguarding edition.

Sidenote: Our lifeguarding bags are equivalent to black holes. Stuff gets lost in the bottom and then appears the next week covered in crumbs and sunscreen. #truestory.

On this particular day, Madeline pulled out Cheerios and a water bottle of soy milk from the Black Hole. And we feasted. And then continued to empty out and document the contents of the Black Hole.

#lovesummerhateeverythingelse.
This photo is just one of many in our photo album titled: “I swear I’m wearing pants”. Our lifeguarding shorts propel Wells into laughter every time we pull them on and they disappear under our shirts. “I like your scratchy, scratchy pool shorts,” he commented, running his hands over the fabric.

Another time, as he was walking beside me he said, “I like your pants.”
“Thanks buddy, I’m not wearing any.” It’s an honest mistake to make.

The Black Hole in a schlump, weary from it’s trek to the pool.

All the essentials needed to Lifeguard (proper noun, because, as we remind our staff, “We are Professionals”): whistle, sunglasses (I have two pairs), goggles, and keys. These are all kept mostly crumb-free because they’re stored in the outside pocket of the Black Hole. A Planet, if you will.

After the Planet is emptied, the drawstring is loosened and the wearer sticks their arm in up to their elbow and flails around, all while maintaining eye contact with everybody else at the guard table. The claw emerges with the top layer of the Black Hole: Food.

Sustenance: Often in the form of grapes, nectarines, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (Liesel), copious amounts of popcorn. And of course, bagels.

Rations. Only to be used in desperate times.

So much bugspray.

An Itch Eraser to relieve the pain from the bugs that avenged their bug sprayed comrades.

Also lotion.

Dolla dolla bills. Madeline did swim lessons all summer plus lifeguarding so she raked in the cash. These dolla dolla bills paid for pizza and breadsticks multiple times.

Sunscreen and a fork.

My first and last green drink.

My water bottle that hangs off my bike handles and bashes me in the knees when I bike. Liesel’s gone through two water bottles because she accidentally kicked the first one off the lifeguard stand. Mine has held up for two years and keeps my water cold for four hours. It has also, on occasion, transported otter pops from our house to the mini fridge in the guard office.

Five pools at our company won “Pool of the Week.” We were one of them. “Sponsored by otter pops and sweat.”

Otter pops. Neon liquid crack in a plastic sleeve.

Cotopaxi Questival // 2018

The Cotopaxi Questival is a 24 hour adventure race. When I first sent Gwyn the link, she was dubious because we are not runners. “It’s not that kind of race,” I assured her, “You just have to complete challenges.” Little did we know how much sprinting we would do.

The competition went from 7:00pm Friday night to 7:00pm Saturday night. Me, Gwyn, and Dave&Jordyn were a team. Our team name was “Believers of Socks and Sandals” and we proudly sported the unofficial uniform of Tevas and socks 80% of the time, through rain and snow.

24 hours before the race started, a list of challenges was emailed out. We gathered at our dorm and planned our hearts out. There were 277 challenges in all:

• 49 in “Community and Cultural”
• 25 in “Do Good”
• 28 in “Fitness and Wellness”
• 10 in “Launch Event”
• 108 in “Outdoor Adventure”
• 42 in “Quirky”
• 15 in “Treasure Hunt” (You have to do all 15 to get a medal. And you know how much me and Gwyn love participation awards.)

On Friday, I packed our stuff while Gwyneth went to her classes. Then David picked us up from our dorm and we went over to GrandmaandGrandpaOrvaPaul’s house (where Dave&Jordyn are staying) and packed the car. Gwyn furiously finished an essay while we were packing–David had stayed up until 4:00 that morning finishing all of his homework for the weekend, so he was all good to go to. Dave&Jordyn’s Subaru was filled to the brim with the randomest assortment of objects ever.

All the usual camping supplies (tent, sleeping bags, an almost-forgotten tarp, axe, hatchet, wood, etc.), s’mores supplies (including donuts), soap (to wash a teammate’s feet Jesus-style), 2 hammocks, a bag of flour–not to be confused with the actual flowers that were in a mug in a cupholder desperately sucking up water, a watermelon masquerading as an armrest, lots of water, and 4-10 backpacks. We’re unsure of the number because they multiplied and replenished frequently. The ticket for Questival came with a Luzon 18L backpack which we proudly sported throughout the 24 hours. They nicely complimented our Tevas.

We arrived at Liberty Park in Salt Lake City for the kick-off at 5:30pm. We sat down and meticulously planned for the challenges we could do when the race started at 7:00pm. (70% of our time was doing challenges, 20% driving, and 10% planning.)

What you will read next is a play-by-play of the 24 hours. If you’ve ever wanted to know what 67 challenges in 24 hours with 1.5 hours of sleep feels like, you’re in luck.

6:30-7:00pm (Times are an estimate because none of us had watches and we couldn’t waste precious phone battery checking the time): The Cotopaxi Kick-Off. Our socks were on and our Tevas were strapped.

We hard-core judged our competition based on outfits–sportswear (we’re partial to sports sandals) and group costumes were signs of true competitors. We weren’t concerned with winning but, like David said, “All of my self-esteem depends on it.”

We participated in a dance party and me and Gwyn made desperate grabs for Cotopaxi paraphernalia while being hoisted on Dave&Jordyn’s shoulder. Fear of people in animal suits motivating us tremendously, we made mad dashes away from Llama Miguel while trying to snap of picture of us with him while he was far, far away.

The hosts explain the rules of the competition and how the winners would be chosen. Prizes were awarded to the tops teams in the three sprints and then the overall winner. Participators gave people “Llama Love” for their videos and pictures based on if they liked it, if they laughed at it, or if it was aesthetic. Our team was completely in its element. Liking, laughing, and being aesthetic is our aesthetic. We were also reminded to have our totem (a Cotopaxi flag) in every picture and video. To our frequent detriment, we constantly forgot it.

A List of the Most Frequently Asked Questions:

1. “Where’s the flag?” This question ensued frantic patting of jacket pockets to find it.
2. “Where’s my phone?” David: I have Jordyn’s. Jordyn: I have David’s.
3. “Should we do this challenge or this challenge?” Whole conversations centered around this, hence the significant chunk of time spent planning.
4. “Who has the keys?”

7:00pm-1:00am: Sprint 1
(Challenges will be italicized, captions will be bolded.)

After the challenge started, we quickly found a blooming tree and Dave climbed the highest tree he could find.

Tree Huggers & Treeva (adj); climbing a tree in Tevas.

Take a team photo in front of the Liberty Park Lawn. “I think you got like 3 feet of air that time.”

We also took a picture of David’s stellar parking job. Ticket Schmicket. #legallyandlawfully

We drove to Little Rock Canyon to boulder an established problem outdoors. We strapped on our headlamps, grabbed our flag, tightened the straps on our Tevas and headed off.

“I like that boulder. That’s a nice bolder.”

9:00pm: After our stint bouldering, we drove to an Even Stevens to buy dinner and do some good for our local food bank. We completed a ton of challenges and took advantage of their wifi to upload all of the ones that we had done.

Pro tips for uploading photos:

• Schedule out pit stops with wifi.
• Use one phone per each sprint that will take and upload everything. (This a panic-free guarantee because you’ll know exactly which phone has the pictures–take it from people who did not do this.)
• Accept that at the end of the 24 hours 2 phones will be dead and the other two will have hovered between 6 and 11% for 80% of the time. Bring chargers.

Even Stevens wears socks and sandals.

Eat an entire meal left handed using chopsticks. Let’s get down to business.

Me and Jordyn gave a left-handed high-five when we read this challenge on the list. I ate chips and a sandwich with my chopsticks. It was pretty incredible. Shout out to a week in Vietnam that turned me into a chopstick-wielding aficionado.

Partake of the state dish of Utah with no hands (We did a quick google… Green Jello.)

Jello from the other side.

10:00pm: We drove to Ensign Peak and took some sick pictures at the top. We had approximately 5 seconds to enjoy the view of a lit SLC at night and then scampered back down. “This is the place.”

11:00pm-4:00am: Camping. We would never pass up a good chance for camping and we mock all those who stayed in heated house from the confines of our giant sleeping bags. We camped at Red Pine Lake (or so we thought) in a “camp site” (AKA flat piece of land) right off a road. We steered clear of the 6 inch worms that were trying to be friendly. I silently expressed gratitude that we had given eating all bugs (worms, crickets, beetles) a hard no.

We set up our tent in 15 seconds, rejoicing in our trusty green popup from Grandma and Grandpa. Then we busted out like 5 challenges and went to bed at the late-hour of 2:30am only to rise at the early-hour of 4:00am.

Welcome to our humble abode.

David tied a knot and rain proofed an entire article of clothing by using wax.

Wax on, wax off. We waterproofed a sock. Just the one.

Chubby Bunny (Enemy to people with small mouths everywhere)

Chubby bunny… thubby bunnee… thubbeeebunnee. With the popping in of the first marshmallow, there was a sudden collective realization that David has the smallest mouth in the world. He made it to 1.5 marshmallows, I made it to a solid 4 before I busted out laughing and, consequently, my marshmallows busted out of my mouth.

Eat the following uncooked ingredients – 1/2 onion, 1 clove garlic, and uncooked noodles. #RAWmen. 

This was definitely the grossest challenge we did, the taste of garlic and onion lingered for hours. As did the smell. My tongue was divided into two as the onion burned the left side and the right side went into shock from the garlic. The video cuts out right before David’s mad dash outside the tent to unload the contents of his mouth onto the ground and then furiously gargle with water.

4:00am-8:00am: We reluctantly woke up at 4:00am and packed up camp. After 1.5 hours of sleep, it was slow going. Up next were outdoor activities in the snow! After finding out we had not camped near Red Pine Lake, we nixed the 6 mile sunrise hike and went to a stream surrounded by snow. It was the perfect place to build a campfire out of toilet paper and wet kindling and then make snowshoes.

Find a way to become one with nature for an hour. Where soul meets body.

Show us your favorite method of purifying water. Say no to Giardia.

Show us how to correctly split wood with an axe. Watch yer toes. We have the real Paul Bunyan over here.

This is a photo of a man with a plan. A poorly thought out plan. But a plan nonetheless.

Make s’mores over a campfire and add an extra ingredient. And also our campfire made of three pieces of wood and a lot of toilet paper.
The s’mores mother nature needed.

We ended on a high note: warming our hands on a well-lit match. Just the one.

Dance your heart out while dousing your fire in a responsible way. “Somebody call 911! Shawty fire burning on the dance floor.”

8:00am-10:00am: Fitness challenges! We went to the East High track AKA the track of High School Musical AKA the track of cinematic perfection.

As a team compete in a 400 meter run. Basically Michael Phelps.

I forced David to wear his Tevas for the run because of the aesthetic and mission statement of our team. Halfway through my lowly jog, watching David sprint out of sight, all I was thinking was, “I hate my Tevas, I hate my Tevas.” But they got me through it, slowly and surely. Very slowly.

Take a time lapse video of a team member doing 1 lap of lunges at a track.”Are you crying because your legs hurt or because you think you’re going to die?” “Both.”

Dress up and participate in the most amazing karaoke performance the world has ever seen. Carpool Karaoke: James Corden & 1D edition.

The Car Dance: The unsung (but not un-danced) hero of Questival. It’s a tradition in the Johnson family. Our uncle Victor invented it and David and his friends introduced it at school dances and the like. As obsessors of One Direction, me, Gwyn, and Jordyn felt strongly about singing one of their songs for our karaoke. We tested out the Car Dance to many of their classics and then hit upon “The Best Song Ever.” The dance moves just flowed. Our costumes were inspired by James Corden and his displeasure that 1D didn’t dress like a boy band. In his carpool karaoke series, he makes them wear denim shirts so they could look the part. “We have denim shirts!” we exclaimed. Several denim shirts actually. We slung those on over our other clothes and blasted the music.

When we got back, we showed our roommate Regan, an avid “Directioner,” the music video knowing she’d appreciate it. “I already know what this is and it hasn’t even started,” she said after only catching a glimpse of the denim.

After our jamming session we raced to Temple Square to take a picture in front of your favorite statue. We ran into the Visitor’s Center and David quickly photographed us in front of the awe-inspiring Christus.

Visit a historic site. She said yes!!!

Dave&Jordyn, posing as a newly-engaged couple, kissed in front of the Salt Lake Temple, Cotopaxi flag and ring proudly displayed.

11:40am: Checkpoint #1. It ended at 11:00am and our tendency to arrive at checkpoints in the nick of time would come back later to bite us in the butt.

At the checkpoint we traded an item from your backpack to another person/participant for an item from their backpack. Ye Olde Trading Post.

Quick pause in narrative to discuss the importance of captions: This was a challenge that everyone had to do (i.e. it was boring and predictable), and it was our highest liked challenge because of the caption.

Pro tips for captions:

• Caption everything. Terrible quality photos with high quality captions rack in love.
• Pun it up. (Llama puns are the appreciated.)
• Don’t be ashamed to stoop to quoting from Shrek. We’re a little embarrassed that we didn’t ever quote from The Emperor’s New Groove, but we got some other solid classics like Napoleon Dynamite and Mamma Mia.
• Bounce ideas of teammates–because ideas that sound good at 2 o’clock in the morning (christened “Liesel’s 2:00am Captions”) might be pathetic.

We completed the checkpoint challenge; answering a math question and who the 44th U.S. President was (Thanks Obama!). Then we were told to make a video saying, “Houston, we have a problem.”

We were due for a much-needed break, so we paused in our challenge-doing to partake in delicious vegan sandwiches at a small corner restaurant. After our meal, we commenced with the challenges and ran to a Maverick to buy a slurpy AKA the only thing we would put into a transparent plastic bag and slurp the contents through a straw. Astronaut style! It was delicious and totally vetoed the healthiness of our sandwiches.

Then we dashed back over to Temple Square to complete our own act of kindness. We handed out flowers to sister missionaries! It was one of the funnest and most rewarding things that I’ve done. They were so appreciative and thankful. Helpin’ a Sister out.

Then we dashed on over to the City Creek Mall and mentally prepared ourselves for the “Quirky” headed our way.

We asked a very nice family at a crosswalk to throw flour at us. They gleefully obliged. Nailed us right in the faces. Then Dave&Jordyn (still covered in a fine layer of white) waltzed across a crosswalk.

Dry as the Sahara Desert.

Making my way down town, walking fast, waltzing faster.

Then, still covered in flour, we walked into the mall. Multiple other teams of Questival participants stopped what they were doing to solemnly whisper, “They got floured.” We finally got to a bathroom and washed our faces and brushed as much off as we could. Then we searched for a good place to embarrass ourselves.

Call this number and dance to option number three. 719-266-2837.

1-800-HOTLINEBLING

With a blindfold on and headphones in, sing and dance your heart out in a public place.

We obediently blindfolded ourselves with folded up pillowcases, blasted “I Want You Back” by the Jackson 5, and then pressed record. It was the most liberating thing I’ve ever done. You can’t see anybody watching you and you don’t get second hand embarrassment from team members, so I just went wild. Flash mobs: Making people uncomfortable since Glee.

The Jackson 4.

Then David piggy-backed Jordyn up three flights of stairs #truelove and then hurdled a shopping cart.

Impress us with the highest thing you can hurdle. Avoiding all my responsibilities like:

We also picked up trash. It’s called trash can, not trash can’t.

The whole time we were in SLC we had been scouring places to hang up our hammocks. This was when it started to rain a little so we got a little desperate. Onward! A church stairwell it was!

Take a load off and do some urban hammocking in a public place.

Just slothing out.

Then we made a split-second decision to go to Adams Canyon Waterfall. “We can do a 25-minute drive there, a 3 mile hike, dunk in a waterfall, and a 25-minute drive back in less than two hours,” we thought. Ha. Instead, we hiked for 15 minutes, saw a “waterfall” (i.e. water falling off of rocks in a stream) and made another split-second decision to dunk there. Dave and Gwyn quickly changed into shorts (I stayed in yoga pants and Jordyn got the enviable role of filming), and then we dunked in three inches of water. Very exciting, very cold, very wet.

Water are you doing???

Before the dunking, Dave made us promise that we would run down the trail with him, so shoes sloshing and Cotopaxi bags thunking, run we did. We flew. My Tevas protested the whole way down. “This is too much running!” they cried. I staunchly ignored them and continued bolting down the hill.

5:50pm-6:40: Checkpoint #2 was open from 4-6:00pm and our Google maps estimated that we would reach the Cotopaxi HQ at 5:50pm. When we reached a stoplight, me, Gwyn, and Jordyn flung open the doors and dashed out, leaving David, the designated driver as he was the lone-stick-shift driver, to find parking. The three of us dashed to the store and read the challenge: Find four of the seven things. (All are within 1 block). That last statement was a bold-faced lie. We had 10 minutes to find 4 of the most obscure items ever. We decided that a daffodil would be the easiest to spot so we headed towards some yellow flowers. My Tevas groaned as we picked up the pace, “No more!”

As we sprinted past a group of fellow-Questival doers, one of them yelled out, “The ‘est. 1847’ is on that map and the word ‘distributary’ is on that ATM.” “Thank you, thank you!” we called back over our shoulders. What a gem! Me and Jordyn ran up and grabbed pictures while Gwyn split off to go search for clover and the elusive daffodils. She met us a block south–someone had tipped her off about the daffodils–and we dashed away. We found the daffodils, disgustedly gave up on the clover, and started searching for the SLC theater. A lady on the street gave us the directions and we were off! We were half a block away from the theater when we could see the sign. Jordyn pulled out her phone, snapped a pic of me and Gwyn and then we started back to the Cotopaxi HQ. It was 6:00pm and we were two blocks away.

We rounded the corner in a full out sprint. We could see HQ topping the hill in the distance. “You go guys!” another Questival team encouraged us. We picked up speed, Tevas thundering on the sidewalk, warning everyone to get of our way.

“Wow, some marathon runners in Birkenstocks.”
“They’re Tevas!” we yelled back indignantly.

We slid to a stop at the front of the store and gasped for air while Jordyn dug out her phone to show the Cotopaxi workers. “Here.”
“Yes, yes, yes, yes,” the worker confirmed as we swiped through the photos of our finds. We breathlessly rejoiced. They gave us our next challenge: call a parent and tell them you love them, while seamlessly slipping the word ‘kerfuffle’ into the conversation. That’s easy, GrandmaandGrandpaOrvaPaul use ‘kerfuffle’ in their daily vernacular.

We face-timed Grandpa and he informed us that they were in the Nauvoo Cafe having dinner with Grandma’s siblings. We headed over with the sole purpose of challenging Grandma to a speed walking competition (and to say hi of course). Grandma looked almost too gleeful when she accepted.

6:40-7:00pm: We had 20 minutes to get to the awards ceremony and pick up our medals. We still had one more challenge to complete before we could get them though. Give a team member a face tattoo with a permanent marker.

I volunteered for the ink and Jordyn carefully wrote “Socks” and “Sandals” on my cheeks while we were at stoplights. Those dentist hands. She finished writing at 6:52. We got out of the car and took the picture at 6:54. It finished uploading to the Questival app at 6:56. It was the 67th challenge that we completed.

Wear your heart on your sleeve, your dreams on your hat, and your team on your face.

7:00pm: As soon as it hit 7:00pm, a feeling of accomplishment rolled over us. Also rain because it dumped as soon as the award ceremony started. We flicked the hats of our rain jackets up and sauntered to the awards on the steps of Capital Hill. Then we stood there shivering as the winners were announced. Tons of people won fanny-packs and it awakened my desire to have one. They’re so handy! Until that point, I was totally against them and now, like socks and sandals, they’ve grown on me. Bring on the tourist aesthetic!

After we grabbed our participant medals and took one last group photo, we headed back to the car, giving our Tevas one last workout as we sloshed through three inches of rain puddles. For old times sake.

Once in the car, with the heat turned on high, we deliberated food venues. Our diet so far had consisted of donuts, chocolate, and oranges. Plus the sandwich and slurpee. Mexican food was sounding really good, so we headed off to Cafe Rio. Five minutes and two songs into the drive, me and Jordyn fell asleep, slumping over the un-eaten watermelon. We woke up when David whipped into a parking spot at Cafe Rio. Blurry-eyed, we dashed through the rain into the restaurant and waited for our coveted burritos, enchiladas, and enormous salad. Plus a splurge of a key-lime pie.

The next hour is time-lapsed in my mind. We went home. Un-packed. David rented Thor: Ragnarok. We collapsed on bean bags and couches, Cafe Rio in hand. Started the movie. Passed out.

Shout out to the bean bag for being so comfortable and to the people who made it to the bottom of this post.

(On Sunday, when Dave&Jordyn finally woke up, David said, “I got up this morning and put on my medal. Wore it around for a little bit.”)

“Believers of Socks and Sandals” forever!

Your Girls Are Nineteen!

Happy Birthday to the best adventurers, vegans, Teva-wearing twins. Us. Our birthday was Monday, March 5th and we entered the scary world of nineteen! Although we were reluctant to turn nineteen, we started celebrating the Friday before, because I went grocery shopping and bought our birthday food and candles.

For our birthday meal, we both wanted vegan cheese slices and vegan meat. Yes, that is a strangely specific request, and no, they taste nothing like the real things. But still delicious. We also bought chocolate soymilk (the stuff of dreams!) and ingredients for chocolate pie. Unbeknownst to us, our family back in Virginia was also getting our birthday meals prepped. Mom got several requests for birthday meals because “We’re celebrating you becoming a mom!” They’re right, Mom did do a lot more work than me and Gwyn.

I was really excited about our birthday candles, so I put them in all the meals leading up to our birthday, hence the “-ish.”

On our actual birthday, we woke up at 7:00am and immediately opened our presents. Mom sent them to us via Amazon. We wanted to be surprised so we sent Mom a list of things we wanted and she could choose from the list.

I looked at Mom’s Amazon orders.

Gwyneth opened the packages three days before our birthday.

We were definitely surprised.

We loved all of them! We got a hammock, twinkle lights, snacks (!), a dress, a baseball hat, and scrapbooking stuff. Then we ate our oatmeal (with candles, of course) and went to school. Grandpa Paul texted us and reassured us that he had stayed up all night to push the day back, so we were still eighteen.

Tina also texted us and invited us to lunch! We went to a teppanyaki place (on the pleadings of Tina’s five kids). It was beautiful! They cook your food right in front of you and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat food the normal way again. Gwyn ordered egg rolls (and the most massive egg rolls you have ever seen arrived, they were hand-rolled and fried), vegetables, and noodles. I ordered fried tofu, vegetables, and rice. It was amazing! We also had dessert sushi rolls which consist of rice, seaweed, pineapple, and coconut cream. A delightful combination.

When we came back from lunch, we found that some sweet members of our floor in our dorm had decorated our door!

That afternoon, Gwyneth had to work so I did homework and tried not to fall into a food coma. It was difficult, but I succeeded. When Gwyn came home, Grandma and Grandpa Allen picked us up to go to Los Hermanos.

Our birthday was basically like Thanksgiving: Food coma after food coma.

We ordered veggie fajitas and it felt like a five-course meal. And then Grandpa Loren dropped the bomb that it was our birthday to the Los Hermanos waiters, who looked positively gleeful at the prospect of singing the Los Hermanos Birthday Song. It was shocking, to say the least. We were adorned with sombreros and presented with massive churros. The first-and-second-hand embarrassment was worth it for the churros. (I’m just grateful that Grandpa didn’t make one of us wear his Los Hermanos t-shirt that’s good for one specialty drink.)

Then we went home and made Regan take a picture of us with our pie and candles. She humored us and produced really good photos.

The pie wasn’t even eaten that night because me and Gwyn had already been swept into our second food coma of the day.

Later that night, Dave&Jordyn texted us and asked if we were still going to be awake at 10:00pm (bet we’re the only college students that have to be asked that) because they had a surprise! They brought over these amazing fudge brownie balls and we made plans to watch Black Panther on Tuesday. (Despite having the day pushed back, we were planning on celebrating our birthday all week long.)

Black Panther was amazing! As is Five Dollar Tuesday. Chadwick Boseman and Michael B. Jordan were really good. (The B stands for Beautiful.) It was an amazing mix of African cultures tinted with jazz and a soundtrack by Kendrick Larimar. It was also really funny and I’m continuously let down when I listen/obsess over cast interviews that they don’t have Wakandan accents. Also, that Chadwick Boseman is forty years old. Like Mom said, “All the young people were disappointed, but all the older people were happy but happily married.”

We took a rest from birthday celebrations for the next few days until Friday when we dragged our roommates to Gem Studio with us!

Food, sombreros, Chadwick Boseman, and handmade rings; nineteen is looking pretty good!

 

The Greatest Showman

For our second time watching it, I didn’t cry as much as I thought I would. The tearing-up didn’t reach double digits but it was close.

I would call it nigh on life-changing. BYU had a dollar deal for tickets, so I ran over to the Wilkinson Student Center and waited in a very long line. The tickets sold out really fast, so when one of our coworkers needed two tickets, we sold two of our tickets to him. So since technically we were paid to go see The Greatest Showman, we feel it is in our rights to review it.

Things you need to know:

• The Mormon Provo, Utah audience has very specific and predictable reactions.
• People calling an audible when Hugh Jackman and Jenny Lind kissed. As in, there were audible ‘no’s.
• A wolf-whistle when Zac Efron started singing “Rewrite the Stars.”
• Sniffing. Lots of it. Although we could chalk it up to the cold season, I would bet money that everyone else was eye-tearing-up as much as we did.

And now, An In-Depth Review of All the Songs:
(Lyrics are in italics and added banter is in parenthesis. Also, P.T. Barnum is going to be referred to as Hugh Jackman because in my mind he is P.T Barnum in real life.)
As the New York Times says, “The Greatest Showman is a montage sequence that occasionally turns into a movie musical.” My edit: A fabulous movie musical.

The Greatest Show:

[P.T. BARNUM]
Ladies and gents, this is the moment you’ve waited for (amen. There was a discernible gasp as Hugh Jackman showed up on screen. This was indeed the moment we’d all been waiting for.)

It was brilliant how they split this song up and framed the movie with it. That way we got to hear Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron sing. And see them do knee slides.

[P.T. BARNUM & LETTIE LUTZ]
It’s everything you ever want
It’s everything you ever need
And it’s here right in front of you
This is where you wanna be (This is where you wanna be)

These lines were true for approximately 2% of the show, the rest of the time the circus “was never enough” for Hugh Jackman.

[EVERYONE]
This is the greatest show!

The above was true for 100% of the movie.

A Million Dreams:

Full disclosure: Ziv Zaifman is really good with the ladies and does an excellent young Hugh Jackman.

[YOUNG P.T.]
I close my eyes and I can see
The world that’s waiting up for me
That I call my own
Through the dark, through the door
Through where no one’s been before
But it feels like home

More full disclosure: The dance between Hugh Jackman and his wife is amazing. Very crisp.

[Chorus: P.T. Barnum, Charity Barnum, both]
Every night I lie in bed
The brightest colors fill my head
A million dreams are keeping me awake
A million dreams, a million dreams
I think of what the world could be
A vision of the one I see
A million dreams is all it’s gonna take
A million dreams for the world we’re gonna make

A Million Dreams (Reprise):

Barnum’s daughters are my spirit animals: one of them asks to marry someone and the other asks for shoes. We would get along rather nicely.

Come Alive:

This song is very call-to-action-esque.

[P.T. BARNUM]
‘Cause you’re just a dead man walking
Thinking that’s your only option
But you can flip the switch and brighten up your darkest day
Sun is up and the color’s blinding
Take the world and redefine it
Leave behind your narrow mind
You’ll never be the same

[P.T. BARNUM]
Come alive, come alive
Go and light your light
Let it burn so bright
Reaching up
To the sky
And it’s open wide
You’re electrified

[P.T. BARNUM]
When the world becomes a fantasy
And you’re more than you could ever be
‘Cause you’re dreaming with your eyes wide open
And you know you can’t go back again
To the world that you were living in
‘Cause you’re dreaming with your eyes wide open
So, come alive!

The Other Side:

Very grateful that Hugh Jackman and Zach Efron were given a song together that is only rivaled by “Bet On It” and “Scream” in the High School Musical series.

[P.T. BARNUM]
Right here, right now
I put the offer out
You can play it sensible, a king of conventional
Or you can risk it all and see (For the longest time, I thought Hugh Jackman said, “Or you can risk it all and sing,” and I thought, “It’s just like High School Musical!” But I just have bad hearing.)

[PHILLIP CARLYLE]
Okay, my friend, you want to cut me in
Well I hate to tell you, but it just won’t happen
So thanks, but no
I think I’m good to go
‘Cause I quite enjoy the life you say I’m trapped in
Now I admire you, and that whole show you do
You’re onto something, really it’s something
But I live among the swells, and we don’t pick up peanut shells
I’ll have to leave that up to you (What a great 17th century jab at class divisions. You really nailed it Phillip.)

Also, who knew shot glasses could be so rhythmic? I was talking to my one of my friends about The Greatest Showman (as one does when one is obsessed) and I asked her what her favorite song was. “The Other Side,” she responded and we both gave a slight, knowing head nod to Zach Efron.

Never Enough:

[JENNY LIND]
I’m trying to hold my breath
Let it stay this way
Can’t let this moment end
You set off a dream with me
Getting louder now
Can you hear it echoing?
Take my hand
Will you share this with me?
‘Cause darling without you

All the shine of a thousand spotlights
All the stars we steal from the night sky
Will never be enough
Never be enough
Towers of gold are still too little
These hands could hold the world but it’ll
Never be enough
Never be enough

(For the only person who wasn’t actually singing, she looked the most like she was singing. This is also the song that I hear most often sung by guys in very high voices, completely unashamed.)

This Is Me:

(With the opening notes of this song, I teared up. I can’t wait until I can watch it in the comfort of our dorm so I can truly let it out and bawl.

This Little Miggy, a blog about changing the perceptions of disability wrote, “Immediately after seeing The Greatest Showman as a family, Lamp [Miggy’s daughter with microgastria and limb reduction complex] was smiling ear to ear and said, “Mom they’re different, like me.” We’ve been listening to the soundtrack ever since and when listening to “This Is Me” today she said, “I like those words Mom. Just like it says, I’m not scared to be me…well except the first day of school… but usually I’m not. And I make no apologies.” Being inclusive isn’t edgy or politically correct. It is simply acknowledging the world as it is and letting other people know that whatever you’re selling, or whatever your brand is, it is for everyone and every BODY.”

[LETTIE LUTZ]
I am not a stranger to the dark
“Hide away,” they say
“‘Cause we don’t want your broken parts”
I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars
“Run away,” they say
“No one’ll love you as you are”
But I won’t let them break me down to dust
I know that there’s a place for us
For we are glorious
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be, this is me
Look out ’cause here I come
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum
I’m not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

[LETTIE LUTZ, ENSEMBLE]
Another round of bullets hits my skin
Well, fire away ’cause today, I won’t let the shame sink in
We are bursting through the barricades
And reaching for the sun
(We are warriors)
Yeah, that’s what we’ve become
(Yeah, that’s what we’ve become)
Won’t let them break me down to dust
I know that there’s a place for us
For we are glorious

Rewrite the Stars

The opening notes to this song were met with a loud wolf-whistle from the back of the theater. That note of appreciation covered up the swoonage that was going on in our section.

[PHLLIP CARLYLE]
You know I want you
It’s not a secret I try to hide
I know you want me
So don’t keep saying our hands are tied
You claim it’s not in the cards
And fate is pulling you miles away
And out of reach from me
But you’re here in my heart
So who can stop me if I decide
That you’re my destiny?
What if we rewrite the stars?
Say you were made to be mine
Nothing could keep us apart
You’d be the one I was meant to find
It’s up to you, and it’s up to me
No one can say what we get to be
So why don’t we rewrite the stars?
Maybe the world could be ours
Tonight 

(The choreography from this song is imprinted my head. It is beautiful.)

[BOTH]
All I want is to fly with you
All I want is to fall with you
So just give me all of you
It feels impossible
It’s not impossible
Is it impossible?
Say that it’s possible
How do we rewrite the stars?
Say you were made to be mine?
Nothing can keep us apart
Cause you are the one I was meant to find
It’s up to you, and it’s up to me
No one can say what we get to be
And why don’t we rewrite the stars?
Changing the world to be ours

[ANNE WHEELER]
You know I want you
It’s not a secret I try to hide
But I can’t have you
We’re bound to break and
My hands are tied

(Some may call it the greatest love song ever. Mostly me.)

Tightrope 

I’m very into this song, it’s like the kids’ version of “Burn” from Hamilton.

[CHARITY BARNUM]
Some people long for a life that is simple and planned
Tied with a ribbon
Some people won’t sail the sea ’cause they’re safer on land
To follow what’s written
But I’d follow you to the great unknown
Off to a world we call our own 

My heart hurt when Charity said, “I never minded the risk, but we always did it together.” Amen, stick it to the man.

From Now On

[P.T. BARNUM]
I saw the sun begin to dim
And felt that winter wind
Blow cold
A man learns who is there for him
When the glitter fades and the walls won’t hold
‘Cause from then, rubble
What remains
Can only be what’s true
If all was lost
There’s more I gained
Cause it led me back
To you
From now on
These eyes will not be blinded by the lights
From now on
What’s waited till tomorrow starts tonight
Tonight
Let this promise in me start
Like an anthem in my heart
From now on
From now on

[ENSEMBLE]
And we will come back home
And we will come back home
Home again!
And we will come back home
And we will come back home
Home, again!
And we will come back home
And we will come back home
Home, again!

Every time I listen to the soundtrack it feels like coming home.
*Slight snicker in the background.*

Gem Studio

Gem Studio is a rad small business in Provo, Utah that walks you through the process of silversmithing your own ring. (It’s a hole-in-the-wall, sorry, diamond-in-the-rough type of place.) Me, Gwyneth, Regan, and Kate went there on a Friday night, using our birthday as an excuse. We have to come up with more excuses though because we are definitely going again.

When we got there, Matt, the owner, promised that they would tell us how to do everything, but that we were in charge of making our own rings. Bring it on.

Steps For Making Your Own Sick Ring

1.Use the word “sick” a lot.

2. Pick out your stone and then doubt and re-deliberate your choice. Side note: It is impossible to pick a gem when there are thousands of options and you want all of them. We almost had to physically restrain Regan from diving back into the gems to find more that she liked because she already had a good-sized pile. We finally narrowed it down and were very pleased with our stones. “Him or her?” I asked holding up two Larimar stones. I chose him and christened him Lima as he bore a small resemblance to a bean. (Lima the Larimar for long.)

3. Clockwise starting from the top: The State of Alabama, Dwayne Johnson (because that is a rock), The Triangle, and dear Lima.

4. Pick out the type of metal you want. This wasn’t even a choice for us because brass and copper bands were $40 and silver was $60. So as poor college students desperate for aesthetic, we went with the brass with the added bonus that it looks like gold.

5. Cut a metal plate for the stone to sit on.

6. Cut a metal rim to go around the stone.

7. Deliberate over the size of wire for your ring. Gwyn and Regan got the thickest wires, Kate got a double wire, and I got the medium-sized which was pleasantly malleable.

8. Mold the metal rim around the stone. Pause for sudden realization that your fingers are weak and metal is their ultimate foe.

9. Solder (pronounced ‘sädər,’ who knew?) the rim’s ends together using a little mini blowtorch. It was very satisfying. Then you dunked it in water and it let off a little hiss of steam. Also very satisfying.

10. Place the rim on the base and line it with the smallest pieces of soldering metal ever. The Smallest Pieces of Soldering Metal Ever were really hard to cut and had the tendency to jump out of your hand once they were free from the bonds of the coil of wire.

11. Gleefully, but carefully, solder the rim onto the base. Dump it in water with another satisfying ‘hiss.’

12. Grind the edges of the base down.

13. Shape the wire into a circle approximately the size of your finger. Again, harder than it sounds. We were sitting there, for what felt like hours and actually was hours, pounding the rings into a circle with little wooden mallets. “How exact does the sizing have to be?” “Ere a little on the smaller side of perfection.” Gwyn rose to the challenge and handed me her ring to pound. Her thick wire was beaten into submission after many a thwack. My wire was very obedient and would bend every time you smacked it, even if you didn’t want it to. Hence Lima’s slightly ovular shape.

14. Solder the ring to the base. Kate very patiently set up her double banded ring which required the precision of a very precise person, while I tossed my ring to Matt who set it up and then handed me the blowtorch. At this point, do not stick your gem into the base, however tempting it may be because it will probably get stuck and then you will have to subtly bang it on the table to get it out. Triangle was none the worse for wear for his adventures. What a gem!

15. Cook the ring in a crockpot. “Where’s your ring, Kate?” “In the crockpot.” “What?” Yup, our rings were cooked in a floral crockpot with a label that said, “Turn Me Off.” After two hours in a tiny shed, that was hilarious to us. We deemed it necessary to make that our go-to answer. Example A. If anyone asks where anything is (i.e. paper towels, my pride, washcloths, any cleaning supplies actually, or The Jeans), you can respond with a forlorn, “In the crockpot,” and it’ll be the perfect answer.

16. Pull the ring out of the crockpot and polish it. It’s also recommended that you let your ring fly out of your hands and lose it, so when you find it you love it even more because during the thirty seconds you were searching for it, you vowed not to polish it anymore and just love it for the slightly pink ring that it was. For the people who continued polishing their rings, they grasped it with all the strength that their fingers still possessed and buffed it on a spinning sandpaper wheel. And prayed it wouldn’t go the way of poor Lima.

17. Superglue your stone into the base. Well, me, Kate, and Regan superglued, Gwyneth kept polishing because she was determined that no pink would remain. Me and Regan had to “boost our stones with sticky notes,” which is Gem Studio talk for “make them stick out more.” Don’t worry, Lima wasn’t offended that he had to have a little cosmetic surgery. “Do you know what stone this is?” Matt asked me, probably trying to distract himself from the rough, and slightly pinkish edges of my ring. “Nope.” “It’s a Larimar, it’s the new turquoise.” I breathed a sigh of relief that I hadn’t picked a turquoise rock because 1. Larimar is a lot easier to spell and 2. I wouldn’t join the hordes of girls who already have a turquoise ring.

18. Rejoice, because, after four hours, the rings were done!

19. Take pictures. Lots of pictures. And deliberate over captions with the same intensity as picking out a stone, because the mandatory polaroid that Gem Studio takes to put on their wall had to have a decent caption. I think we did a pretty good one.

We walked out of there with some dope pictures and sick rings. In my mind, there is a little Newsies fist bump and heel click at the end to commemorate us crossing something off our bucket list, but really, we just sauntered out of there, glorying in our rings.

Family Photos

Liesel, Gwyneth, Regan, Cassie, Kate

A couple of weeks ago, we decided that the best way to spruce up our living room was with huge printouts of our faces. One of our roommates, Regan, works at a copy shop so she said she could print out our family photos for super cheap. Intense planning began, to make our pictures THE family pictures. Suggestions were thrown out:

“Plaid with stripes”
“Denim on denim”
“I have two denim hats”
“We have to wear them!”
“Black turtlenecks!”
“Steve Jobs-style!”

There was also a lot of searching on Pinterest for the perfect poses and 80s style glamour shots. We took a few breaks to peruse One Direction family photos as well. When we saw their gorgeous picture with their cats, we were sorely tempted to find a small animal. But we decided against asking to borrow our old roommate’s pet fish and lugging it to Bridal Veil because it would probably die.

Our first wardrobe change was especially hard in the snow because the tiny buttons on those denim shirts require agile fingers, not frozen ones.
“Button it all the way up!”
“I can’t even get one buttoned!”

Our photographer was skeptical of our fashion choices, “I can’t believe you’re wearing that.”
“Speak for yourself, I’ve worn this exact outfit multiple times.”

Denim on denim on denim on denim.
What you don’t see in this picture is Liesel’s other leg perpendicular to the ground, in an attempt to relieve some of the weight and keep the stack from leaning. What you can see (if you look closely) is that 65% of my body weight is on my fingertips.

Friends who stack together stay together.

The epitome of all awkward family photos. We have the crucial elements:

1. Me and Regan’s heads are pressed together.
2. Liesel’s fatherly head pat.
3. Cassie and Kate doin’ the 80s stretch.
4. Stools.

As an added bonus, we also have socks and sandals.

The brilliant idea to take stools with us came at one in the morning Friday night when we were having a peanut butter toast party. Truly our best idea.

“Don’t blink.”

“This was a terrible footwear choice.”
“Are you kidding me? This is my usual footwear of choice.”

There were so many jumping outtakes.
We kept having to redo them because it was basically a requirement that one of us wouldn’t jump. The height difference was also difficult. Cassie and Kate had to work way harder to get all of their legs in the air.
Hair was pretty problematic.
While we were looking through the pictures after, we made sound effects for our hair because they clearly have different personalities when we’re jumping.

*Yippee* *Swish* *Swoosh* *DiNG* *Whoom*

As you can tell, we barely tolerate each other.

Goals // 2018

1. No sugar. Liesel went off sugar last year so it’s Round Two for her and Round One for me.
2. Attend the temple once a month. We were never going to be able to go once a week, so we decided to lower our expectations and my stress level and go once a month.
3. Watch every BYU devotional. BYU has a devotional every Tuesday morning and we were terrible about going to them last semester. We watch them at home to avoid walking to the Marriott Center and then sprinting back to class.
4. Read the Book of Mormon every day. We are really on top of this during the week, and all of a sudden it’s 11:53pm on Friday night and we haven’t read yet. And then it’s a mad dash to grab the scriptures and an even hastier read through.

New year. New us.

Meadow Hot Springs

Our original plan this Saturday was to go to Fifth Water Hot Springs, but with no desire to hike twelve miles in the snow, we decided to drive two hours to a hot spring that only required a 150-yard walk. Our adventure crew was our roommate, Regan, and her friend Reganne. When we first got to the hot springs, Regan took one look at the water and declared she was going to wear her beanie in. The rest of us followed suit.

The water was a toasty 106°F and with the air temperature at 30°F, we were in for the long haul. It was going to be a while before we ventured out of the water.

The pool was pretty big and there was one section of it that went down more than thirty feet. This was confirmed to us by people who were not part of our group because we felt no desire to go into the dark abyss. Apparently, Meadow Hot Springs is a real hit on the weekends because when we got in the water, there were probably eight other people. They all gradually left so we had the pool to ourselves for a good thirty minutes.

We brought a pair of goggles and we each took turns seeing how far down we could go into the Dark Abyss. We also pulled out some summersaults as soon as the pool had cleared of people.

Our conversation topics ranged from music to school and ventured towards dating when Reganne joked, “This is the part where, if we were at Girls Camp, we would talk about our love lives.” That lasted for a hot minute and then we all moved on to One Direction.
We took breaks from talking to dunk under the water to melt the ice that had formed in our hair. We also had to carefully position ourselves, with our backs to the wind, because the snow was intent on stabbing you in the face. “I can see it coming straight into my eyes and there’s nothing I can do about it!” “Blink!”
At around 5:00pm, we all admitted that we should probably get ready to go home because it was still snowing and we didn’t relish driving home in the dark and snow. A plan of action was proposed:

1. Muster up enough courage to get out of the pool.
2. Put on shoes.
3. Put on coats.
4. Run.

What really happened was pure chaos. Much searching for articles of clothing and keys and socks. There were attempts at putting on shoes, some of which were not successful (Liesel gave up and just ran barefoot) and then a mad dash to the car, hurtling over puddles and the like.
Once we were in the car, we blasted the heat and quickly got dressed. Our drive back consisted of lots of snow, Costa Vida, and One Direction.

CHRISTMAS BREAK 2017

Our Christmas break could probably be summed up in four words:
family. food. face masks.

Me and Liesel flew home on the 21st, Gretchen’s birthday, and despite her wishes, we did not go see Star Wars the minute we stepped off the plane. We did go see it the next day and we all loved it. However our least favorite part, hands down, was Kylo Ren’s shirtless scene complete with high waisted stretchy pants.

Family pictures in our Sunday clothes were taken. We also commenced our regular habit of sharing clothes. I am wearing Madeline’s shirt and Madeline is wearing my shirt. Wells is wearing his own clothes.

More Christmas photos. This time, both me and Liesel are wearing Mom’s shirts.

We also ate some dang good food. The Friday before New Years Eve, we saw The Greatest Showman with Mikelle and then went and ate noodles from Noodles & Company. The Greatest Showman was one of the best movies I have ever seen and the soundtrack has been playing nonstop in our house ever since.

On New Years Day, we went to a cafe in Old Town with Brenna and ate some cinnamon toast and a hummus sandwich. And obviously, we took pictures afterwards.

I bought these red pants at a thrift store for six dollars and they are 97% polyester. Gretchen asked if I would wear these on a first date and we adamantly said no. We decided they are definitely third date pants. The Third Date Pants have been worn twice now, and we expect they will receive even more mileage in the next semester.
May 2018 be as cool as these pants.